Adoptive parenthood is an issue that many people have serious problems dealing with. Every father has the dream of having a happy family and raising his children in the best environment where there is peace, joy and love in the family. But sometimes it doesn’t always happen that way. The problem starts when neither parent seems to agree with the other’s idea, and before you know it, they’re breaking up and calling it quits. Most of the time, children see these disagreements between their parents that are already very traumatic for them. So adjusting to someone who isn’t their biological father can be difficult, not to mention the fact that they weren’t really comfortable with their own biological father in the first place. When parents separate and marry another couple, that’s when adoptive parenting begins.
If you are a step-parent and you are confused and don’t know what to do to make your step-children love you, here are some tips that can turn your seeming step-parent nightmare into a beautiful morning.
Advice for step parents
Being a stepfather is not an easy task at all; I can say that because I have been a victim. I was a little boy when my mom left my dad. The reason she left was because my older sister got pregnant and my dad said that she couldn’t let her stay with him any longer and that she needed to move out and stay with my grandmother. This idea was too crazy for my mom to agree to, but after a series of conversations she finally agreed to move out. The day my sister was going to leave, my mom said that she herself would take her to my grandmother. She took her to my grandmother with a previous agreement, but when she arrived and stayed for about two weeks, she decided on her own that she would not return to my father. That decision was already traumatic for me and my brothers. A year later my dad married other women for a reason we had never seen before.
At that time all I did was fight and complain about everything I did to my dad, she wasn’t friendly either. She yells at me and makes different attempts to hit me that I didn’t like. She may not be able to get into all the details of the story. But the whole idea behind this story is that her behavior was already wrong with me, so I fought her with everything I had. She was able to last 5 years after which she had to leave because my dad started having problems with her too.
As a stepparent, you need to understand that the mother or father of the child you are about to leave with may like you at first, but your attitude and actions towards them can change everything. Try as much as possible not to take things too personally because they are just trying to protect their home which is normal for everyone.
Being a stepparent would be easier for you if you start loving your stepchildren no matter what they do to you. “Life is an echo, it returns what you give”, the action corresponding to love is to love. With time and a consistent show of love, your stepchild(ren) will learn to love and respect you.
Your stepchildren have a high possibility of making your marriage work or not work. So take your time, watch them, be patient, respect their privacy and most of all love them. If you can do these things, having a happy marriage shouldn’t be a nightmare.