Relationships have always fascinated me. From ‘How to create them?’ to ‘Why do they break up?’ I’ve spent a lot of time trying to learn the ins and outs. One thing that is NEVER talked about is what I like to call ‘The Power of Proximity’. You never see it in the movies because it would destroy the whole “soul mate” illusion. I’m not trying to sound bitter or have anything against love, but proximity plays a HUGE importance in relationships and is rarely talked about and I want to discuss it today.
Basically, the power of proximity is how our physical location/distance affects relationships. It affects how they are created and how they end up. Long distance relationships NEVER work. Proximity is the main reason why. If you are not physically close to someone or cannot spend time in someone’s company, obviously the attraction will fade. No amount of internet chatting or video calling can replace real-life face-to-face, skin-to-skin contact.
I remember that from my high school a lot of close relationships were formed. I remember thinking “WOW, of the other 500 million people (based on gender and age) on the planet, your ‘soul mate’ just happened to be your classmate.” I remember that at this age I became very cynical about love. It seemed so strange to me how many couples were created since high school. Maybe my school was an unknown area and was able to beat stats like 1:500,000,000 for a dozen people.
In movies, love is usually fortuitous. In real life, it is often convenience that creates relationships. whether through classmates, work, or a friend of a friend. When you are very close to someone, bonds are formed. If you see someone at work, everyday emotional connections will develop.
Proximity also affects how often you see someone. If you live in the same city, you can meet often and further strengthen your relationship. However, if you live a couple of hours apart, cracks will begin to form in your relationship due to the lack of physical contact and the time you spend together.
There is another aspect of proximity that I would like to touch on. As I told you, and surely you can think of many examples, many people from school or work create relationships with each other. These relationships, particularly from school or university, fail and that is because they do not have a solid foundation. By this I mean that the primary reason the couple met was proximity and some interest in each other was expressed.
As time passes and these couples experience other aspects of life, they realize that they don’t have much in common with their partner or that “things have changed.” Imagine that you tried vanilla ice cream and loved it. It was the only ice cream available in your town and then one day you went on vacation and there was chocolate ice cream. Despite your love of vanilla ice cream, you tried chocolate ice cream and found that you liked it even more!
Well, since in your town there is only vanilla ice cream, you will have to settle for vanilla ice cream. However, if the option of having chocolate ice cream was available in your city, it would be goodbye vanilla!
It’s not about race, just about experiencing something different. Let’s say you were in a relationship at school but then went to college in a different city or country and met some cool new people. His views and values on life would surely change. It would be almost impossible for you to be happy in your old relationship. The couples at my school who are still together (for about 10 years!!) are still together because they were never apart.
What to get out of this:
Proximity is power in relationships. It is important to be physically close to someone in order to develop a relationship with them. You can be as charming and funny as you want, but if you live so far away that the relationship becomes inconvenient, then you don’t stand a chance. The greater the physical distance, the more cracks will be created in the relationship.