Video games have become the number one choice for on-screen entertainment, surpassing TV/DVD viewing and movies. According to the Pew Internet and American Life Project, 99% of boys ages 12-17 and 94% of girls in the same age range play video games. Eighty percent play five or more different genres, with racing, puzzles, sports, and action being the most common. (1)
What they play, of course, determines whether the game is harmful or helpful to their developing minds and spirits. When kids play action-packed, fast-paced, or violent video games, in particular, they increasingly need more powerful visuals to respond emotionally to the game. This is called stimulus addiction. The term “stimulus addiction” describes the habit that forms when children seek out more and more stimulating play to maintain their interest. Instead of playing in their natural world, children are spending more and more time playing in the artificial world of video games.
Children often start with simple non-violent video games and progress to more and more violent games because violent games are the most stimulating. They require the part of our brain that reacts, rather than reasons. Violent video games focus on the constant need to destroy to stay in the game. Violent images increase arousal levels of neurotransmitters (brain chemicals) that arouse and encourage children to continue playing. Today’s video games display more horrific violence, with sharp images and realistic graphics. Words, ideas and images of brutality that were never imagined as “entertainment” ten years ago now occupy much of our children’s free time, habituating them to overstimulation in the process.
While the fast pace and emotionally vivid imagery of manufactured horror is definitely habit forming, even non-violent games can become addictive.
Video game addiction is a true tragedy of our time. Two parents recently expressed serious concern about the excessive amount of time they are spending on video games:
The father of a fourth-grader overheard his nine-year-old son talking to a friend:
“I’m going to finish her off by ripping her heart out.”
“No, cut off his head instead.”
“But I want to rip his heart out.”
“I want to see his head fly.”
“Oh okay, let’s see his head roll. There! Look at all that blood. Great.”
They were excitedly playing a video game that they had just downloaded. This father felt lucky to listen to his son, disturbing as he was. He was able to guide the children to play that was non-violent, more age-appropriate and more aligned with the family’s values.
A mother of a fifteen-year-old did not know what to do with her daughter who stayed up until two in the morning playing video games and was not ready for school the next day. By coaching this mother to take the proper steps, her daughter was back on track, with better grades and a much better attitude. It was a process that required a lot of willpower on the part of this mother. Despite her difficulties, she kept learning through PCI™ Coaching to reinforce positive behaviors and open up more suitable possibilities for her daughter.
Online gaming, in the lives of far too many high school and college students, takes precedence over academics, sports, hobbies, art, dance, and other forms of personal expression. The researchers found that a survey of 1,500 adolescents indicated that 25% were compulsive video game players. Fifty percent of those surveyed used the word “addiction” to describe a friend’s gambling behaviors. Because the excitement becomes the reward for playing, and because the games are set up to reinforce behavior intermittently, they are extremely addictive and even potentially addictive.
It’s easy to get lost in the fantasy worlds of screen technologies. Now, with handheld video games, children as young as four play video games, despite experts warning that this could be a very harmful habit that leads to lifelong dangerous problems.
Parents, the good news is that there are focused strategies you can take to prevent addiction to stimuli in our increasingly invasive digital culture: Think carefully and act consciously. I personally guarantee that these five seemingly simple strategies are simply powerful. They can help your child or teen in profound ways.
Five essential elements to prevent addiction to the Internet and video games:
1. Keep kids curious about off-screen reality.
Games and web browsing often stem from boredom. Kids who don’t know what to do end up in front of a video game console or a computer. However, if there are other things to do, he or she can easily choose an alternative. Keep a list of age-appropriate activities handy, including plenty of books from your local library. By encouraging children to do other activities when they are bored, they may not get into the habit of playing video games. They will know how to entertain themselves without the need for overstimulation. Make your home an enriched environment for all kinds of creative and artistic activities. Do what ignites you too – you light a spark in your kids every time you improve and use your own creativity!
2. Give children more control through proper decision making.
Responsible autonomy means that children make decisions and have a sense of control over regular daily decisions. Video games tap into children’s need for control. If they only feel in control when playing these games, they will naturally want to play them more often. Give children decisions that you can live with either option. An example for a young child might be: “Do you want to wear the blue or yellow shirt today?” Both have long sleeves and will keep the child warm. An example for an older child or teen might be: “When is a good day for you to help me with dinner this week?” You acknowledge that the child’s schedule is under her control, giving her this decision when she can be flexible about the outcome. The more your child or adolescent does, appreciates, and sees the effects of their decisions, the less likely they are to crave external stimuli for pleasure. Mindful activities will become more enjoyable as your child develops a strong sense of self through internal control.
3. Expand children’s sources of emotion.
In video games, excitement is the reward. The “high” of reaching another level, killing enemies, or quickly pressing the right button at the right time creates a run that feeds on itself. Direct reinforcement multiplies excitement and pleasure. If playing video games is the only source of excitement for a child or adolescent, then other activities will fall by the wayside. Video game addiction occurs because there are few opportunities for a young person to feel that level of excitement that a video game generates. When kids and tees are excited about an activity like sports or art, music or academics, community service or church, then they have other avenues to be excited about the outcome. One of the main jobs of parenting in the age of media is for moms and dads to expand opportunities for children to use their abilities and talents. The emotion of living and creating must become the reward.
4. Teach children how to come into themselves.
When children know how to wander in their internal landscapes, they are more self-directed. They can entertain themselves more easily. Give children and teens time to sit down and think, even if it’s just for five or ten minutes at a time. Only a small practice begins to flourish. Children will come to need this type of “inside time.” Before you ask a question, you can say, “Before you answer, honey, I want you to take a minute to think about your answer.” Consciously giving “time to think” provides a powerful model that it is important to take time to carefully consider an idea. Most video games are fast. They do not grow that part of the brain that is used in reflective reflection. This takes time. It is not a quick decision. By encouraging children and teens to slowly reflect on themselves, parents counteract video game addiction.
5. Help children stay connected to the three-dimensional world through lots of physical activity.
When Play Station commands, “Play our world,” you better believe they know what they’re doing. This is a well-thought-out phrase to make children and adolescents believe that the world of video games is the best world to play. As illogical as it may seem to most adults, young people do not have the thinking capacity to understand the long-term ramifications of this announcement about attitude formation and the fabrication of a need. To be “cool” a better person “plays in his world”. Playing video games with our kids can go a long way in modeling proper use of this great tool for fun time out in the real world. But like everything, it’s a matter of balance. If children don’t get enough exercise outdoors, for example, their lives are lopsided in favor of the screen-machine. If children don’t find their skill in various activities in the 3-D world, they might be tied to the 2-D world as well. Parents taking a breather to kick or throw a ball, ride a bike or walk model for children the value of life beyond a small screen. By nurturing our children’s innate propensity to explore the natural world, parents lift children out of the world of video games and give them the knowledge and spirit to create a better world – a world in which we will all enjoy playing!
Copyright, Gloria DeGaetano, 2010. All rights reserved.
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Reference
1. “Video Game Player Saturation Hits a New Level,” Seattle Times, Sept. 18, 2008, p. A6.