Organizations are slowly realizing the need to increase listening at all levels. The big question is not whether to do it, but how.
In a recent Forbes magazine article, he went straight to the heart of the matter. John Ryan wrote, “We need to be the primary listeners in our organizations, every day. That is no easy task, as listening can be a major struggle for even the best-intentioned among us. Yet it is something we can improve. with effort and, frankly, we don’t have many options.”
He cites the advice of Michael Hoppe, a retired faculty member from the Center for Creative Leadership, to hear better:
1. Pay attention. Power off your BlackBerry. Maintain eye contact. Not to show that you understand. Otherwise, the conversation is dead before it starts.
2. Suspend sentence. Withhold your criticism and let others explain how they see a situation. You don’t have to agree; just show a little empathy.
3. Reflect. Periodically recap each other’s points to confirm your understanding. It often turns out that you missed something.
4. Clarify. Ask open-ended questions that encourage people to expand on their ideas. For example: “What are your thoughts on how we could increase sales in this economy?”
5. Summarize. Briefly repeat the core issues raised by the person you are speaking with. You disagree or disagree; you are simply closing the loop.
6. Share. Once you know where that person stands, present his or her own ideas and suggestions. This is how good conversations become even better.
All great ideas!
And of course I would add my own settings. In stages 3 and 5, be sure to use your words: parrot phrase, not paraphrase. And at stage 4, I’d suggest using Clean Language’s “ultra-open questions,” such as “What kind of X (is that X)?”
It’s best to pay conscious attention to your listening skills. They can definitely be improved with practice and training!
I was recently training a group of young managers, most of whom had just taken on their first supervisory responsibility, and we did a series of activities to show them the difference that real listening can make. For example, just being listened to for two minutes without interruptions or questions helped each participant think more deeply and express themselves more clearly. Know that they plan to make this a regular practice.
Why not find a partner and give it a try? Once you feel heard, you may also feel more motivated to listen to others.