If you were to rate your marriage on a scale of one to ten, where do you think it would fall? That is a question that every man should ask himself from time to time in order to assess where the connection lies between him and his wife. By doing this, he is likely to discover that his marriage is not ideally where he would like it to be emotionally. Many men share the complaint that they wish their wife would take better care of them. That’s not to say she’s not in love, but those little gestures that show the love and affection that once was, may have been lost sight of. If he feels that his wife doesn’t care for you as deeply, in a romantic sense, as she used to, it’s not something you have to live with indefinitely. All marriages can be changed if thoughtful effort is put into it. In this case, because you are the one who has recognized that the marriage is flawed, you may be the one to roll up your sleeves to do the work necessary to change the dynamics of the connection between you and your wife.
Treat her exactly how you would like to be treated.
Marriage is very much a give-and-take proposition. Both give to the relationship and subsequently both also take from it. Sometimes that dynamic can get terribly unbalanced. His wife may put more pressure on him to meet his emotional needs, while she neglects hers. Once this happens, resentment quickly sets in and the marriage ends up in a very difficult place where one person’s needs are not being met.
If you want your wife to care about you in a deeper sense than she does now, start doing things for her that you would enjoy if the roles were reversed. That can be something as simple as making him coffee in the morning or giving him a bubble bath at the end of the day. If you become the husband you know she wants and needs you to be, she will be more inclined to become the wife she dreams of.
However, this goes beyond the physical. You should also be kind to your wife and compassionate. This can be challenging if your wife is not always like this with you. However, a marriage can very quickly shift to a much healthier emotional place if one person sets a new precedence by being the one she is willing to give the most. In other words, if you shower your wife with kindness and compassion, she will feel compelled to return the favor and eventually, over time, she will want to initiate that loving behavior herself.
Listen more to your spouse and then respond to their needs
In many marriages it becomes commonplace to tune out. It occurs with couples who have only been married for a few months and also occurs regularly in relationships that are decades old. When your partner begins to share their feelings, you may nod your head as they talk, but you’re essentially not absorbing anything they’re saying. Women and men are equally guilty of this behavior. Your wife may do it to you, and subsequently, without your realizing it, she may be treating her the same way.
That has to stop if you want your wife to care more about you. You can be the catalyst for change by taking the first step in accepting and learning from what your wife shares with you. When she’s talking to you, don’t check your cell phone and don’t stare at the TV. Instead, remove all distractions and focus completely on her. She will instantly appreciate this effort because she shows that you value her more than anything else at that moment.
If your wife shares feelings with you that are difficult, don’t back off and pretend the problems don’t exist. If you get defensive, she will shut down and an even bigger emotional divide will start to form between the two of you. Marriage is about learning to be a better couple, so it’s important that you take your wife’s words to heart and see them as a suggestion for change.
Make it clear that you value her as your life partner.
One of the reasons a woman will often give for walking away from her husband is that she will not feel appreciated. If her wife does not show him the same care and compassion that he once did, he must consider her own treatment of her. If you stopped appreciating her or telling her how much you love her, that can affect not only how she feels about you, but also how she sees herself as a wife and life partner. You must make it very clear to your wife that you do not regret your decision to marry her and that you would do it again if given the chance.
Women are notoriously in need of romance, and if you surprise your wife with small gestures that reflect your feelings, it can change her whole perspective on marriage. For example, doing something as simple as writing her a short note saying that you can’t live without her shows her that you think of her as a rare and valuable treasure. She will appreciate that note and you more for writing it.
It is not uncommon for women to doubt their husband’s love as the marriage matures. If the couple does not always verbally express what they feel, emotional misunderstandings can arise that become conflicts that never end. Tell her wife every day how much he really loves and needs her. He wants to hear it and will help her feel more comfortable with the idea of becoming emotionally involved in the marriage again.