Whether a breakup is the result of a mutual agreement or the rejection of one partner by another, we often regret our decision and quickly wish for things to go back to the way they were.
Out of desperation, it’s easy to get carried away by lies in order to win your ex back, but long-term relationships and cheating are like oil and water. This is not a lesson in morality, but it is the story of how people too often dismiss the big picture for instant gratification.
I have a friend that I will call Kathy (for the sake of anonymity) and this is a story from her. Kathy had a wonderful boyfriend who I will call Mark and they have been dating for 3 years when she made the mistake of cheating on him. Kathy’s boyfriend was so devoted to her that it never occurred to me that she would cheat on him, much less leave him for a new man, but she did.
It wasn’t long after she got hooked on the new guy that she started regretting her decision. Later, when all was said and done, she told me that she regretted her action the moment she left her boyfriend of 3 years.
In any case, she wanted Mark back, but she had no idea how she was going to achieve that. So she lied, told Mark that she was pregnant with his baby and that Mark, being Mark, actually forgave her and took her back.
Men should take note that they can make equally egregious lies. I have heard stories of how some men have lied saying that they were dying by some death or faking the death of a family member. You can’t go much lower than that.
The story has an obvious ending, because there is no way to fake a pregnancy for an extended period of time and Kathy had to confess it eventually. Mark, the kindest boy in the world, would have forgiven her for cheating on him, for leaving him, but this was too much to bear, even for him.
Lying about a pregnancy may seem like an extreme example, but the truth is that all the lies that are told to get someone back into a relationship often suffer a similar fate.
As a girlfriend and boyfriend, a relationship doesn’t get more intimate and personal. So, as you can imagine, most people will have a hard time hiding a lie from their partner for a long time.
Mark left Kathy when he found out that she had lied to him to get it back and didn’t look back afterward. If Kathy were more patient and willing to earn Mark’s trust, I’m sure they would still be together today.
I don’t care how you can justify a lie, believe me, it will bite your ass again if you use such a humble tactic to win back your lost love. You will hurt yourself again and the second time it will hurt even more, at least that’s true according to Kathy.
The moral of the story, quick fixes are just that and they are not meant to last. Study after study shows that more than half of couples who break up are back together soon after. This simply means that you have a better chance of breaking up with your ex boyfriend / girlfriend even after a breakup than ever to see each other again.
This may be a cheesy line, but honesty is really the best policy if you want your ex back. Keep it simple, just be honest with your ex and you’ll be that much closer to getting him back.