I have a cheap plug. Since I’ve spent my life focusing on how to make relationships work, it’s been harder than I thought to list why they fail.
The 22nd reason why you can’t find love has a lot to do with mindset. Unfortunately, many have this mentality. And no one wins with it.
The 22nd reason why you can’t find love may be the result of incompetence. Stay with me. I think I’m about to offer a different perspective than most of you anticipate. Number 22 is that you play in your relationship. The game is for the girls and the power is for the men.
If you notice, in any activity, the people who are competent understand the rules of engagement. They then train and develop a strategy to produce the desired result. Think of a professional athlete. When you’re incompetent, devise methods to try to level the playing field. Since he knows he can’t get what he wants based on his current skill set, he plays tricks. This is known as having play.
Think about it. If you are a woman and you want a man’s money and you have nothing to offer, you have to create the illusion that you have something to offer. So you make him believe that you are so valuable that he has to chase you. When he gets you, he learns that you are a commodity and offer the same as other mediocre women. Except, in the woman’s mind, she won a few dinners or other chips.
When she didn’t get everything she hoped for, she thinks she was tricked and yells victim. This is usually the result for people who play the game. They tried to get something for nothing.
For those who believe that sex is a gift to men, that is an illusion. Sex is a mutual exchange. If you are sexually immature and don’t understand how to enjoy it, you are responsible for it.
The game is analogous to corporate politics. In corporate politics, people focus on looking good and making others look bad. In a company that embraces politics, many win with this strategy. However, the company and customers lose. While you are playing politics, you are not taking care of the business at hand. You are scheming, withholding work or information, or sabotaging another. This is clearly unproductive.
The same would apply in a sports team where you intentionally want to make your teammates look bad. While you can make your teammates look incompetent, you lose the game.
That same mentality is unproductive in an intimate relationship. The craziest thing is that when you finally meet someone you really want to be with, you don’t have the skills to keep it. You only know how to play. Since you never took the time to make yourself valuable to someone else, a smart person will see the reality of what you offer and walk away. In some cases, they will accept what you offer, which is probably sex, and ghost you. So you feel played. And there’s the finish. When you play, you are ultimately playing yourself. This is even the fate of the person who plays corporate politics. Since they only play games, they will never be competent enough to handle the highest position in an organization. Once they are given a chance to be the center of attention, they fail.
So to all the game players out there, the joke is on you.