For our diet and indeed in all aspects of our lives, we must remember to relax from the demands of the unrealistic ideal. For those trying to lose weight, you can’t be Barbie. For those of you who lift weights, you can’t be the Governor of California. Accepting this principle first can give you the peace of mind to love what you have, reduce frustration, and actually make losing weight easier in the long run!
A few years ago, while driving to the pharmacy, I saw a family cross the street. There was a woman who appeared to be in her 70s with a thick mass of black hair falling down her back. Next to her was another woman in her 40s with a shock of thick black hair that fell down her back. And walking with them, a teenage girl with a thick mass of black hair falling down her back, and next to her was a girl about six years old with a thick mass of black hair falling down her back.
The teenager was pushing a stroller. I craned my neck and looked at a small baby tucked inside; no, there was not a mass of flowing black hair. But I could see little black strands beginning and I was willing to bet what that would look like in the future.
I drove to the pharmacy feeling a bit sad. When I got to the store, I saw rows of hair beautifying products. Products to increase volume, straighten, curl, add vitality. I had tried many of them in the past with maybe some improvement, but not much. What he really needed was more hair. If any of those walking ladies would give me just a bit of her hair, it would really benefit me and I doubt they’d miss out. I have fine baby blonde hair. The kind that withers in the heat, hangs limply in the rain, and quickly loses its style.
Later that week, I ran into the talk show host Maury. The women were on the show complaining about their hair. A young African-American woman caught my eye. About 14 years old, she had coarse black hair. She burst out of her head and spread everywhere. She cried as she told Maury that she hadn’t had a comb in her hair for years because she had gotten all tangled up in it. She surprised me when she told Maury that the bugs landed on her hair and stayed there. And I thought she had a problem with her hair.
After watching the show I started thinking about my hair and instead of seeing it as a problem I decided to focus on the assets. Okay, my hair was really fine… but that meant a couple of minutes with the blow dryer was all it took to get it dry. My hair grew very slowly…but that meant I saved money when I got highlights because they took forever to grow. Plus, I would never have to pay for an “UPDO” because there wasn’t enough hair to fix!
I thought about my struggle to have long hair. My dream hair was long, shiny hair. I had abandoned that idea long ago and decided to settle for a chin-length bob. But that wasn’t working either. My hair looked flat and monotonous.
It was the same with my nails. I wanted medium nails, but nail products and calcium weren’t working. Right then and there I decided to ACCEPT what I had and work with it to make life SIMPLE and ENJOYABLE. Instead of fighting my genetic code, I would work with it.
Next stop the hairdresser. I cut my hair into a very simple bun that came just below my ear. On “good hair days” you could wear it over your ear. And in bad times or when I got caught in the rain, I could slip it behind my ear. Highlights were added to give it body and more shine and I bought products that, although they did not work miracles, were suitable for my hair.
Then I threw away all my nail hardeners. They may have worked for other people, but not for me. I filed my nails to a simple blunt length. I bought a very good file and a suede polisher. If I paint them, I’ll use a light or pale pink. But usually they are just buffed to a healthy shine. No more fighting with nails. wow!
It’s amazing how good it feels and how much easier our lives become when we accept what we have and take advantage of it. Think about what you have, what is difficult for you to change. Is it something you can change or is it something you can’t? Life is much easier when you work with what you have.
In fact, no one is going to mistake me for the Breck Girl or the lady in the Herbal Essence Shampoo commercial. But that’s okay because now I enjoy my hair and nails and that’s what matters!