I know that I married a good man. But is he nice and kind enough to forgive me for cheating? How do I make him look past my delusion and see how much I still love him?
One of the hardest things in the world for a man is emotional pain. Cheating is a big blow to the average man. He hits it on different levels than other acts.
How does cheating affect most men?
Men are affected by cheating in many different ways, but there are some common threads that all men experience when they find out their wives are cheating on them. Here are a few:
1) Deep, soul-wrenching pain. Loving husbands are simply hurt by the fact that their wives cheated on them, just like most women in the same situation. Just because they express their emotions differently doesn’t mean they don’t feel them and that’s a mistake many women make. They take their husband’s lack of emotional expression as a sign that he doesn’t feel things as deeply. It’s just not true.
2) Monstrous jealousy. Men don’t like to share. Anything. If you don’t like sharing your TV remote or his favorite hammer, how much more do you think you dislike the idea of sharing his wife with another man? It’s not going to work out at the best of times. He will be jealous of every detail, moment and look that you shared with this other man.
3) Big blow to the ego. Men are proud creatures. I know, it’s hard to imagine, most men hide it very well. But a man likes to believe that if you’re with him you think he’s the best man in the world. When you are with another man he sends him a message saying that maybe he is not the best. Men don’t like to feel second to none in the eyes of the woman they married.
So how do I get him to forgive me for cheating?
That’s the million dollar question of the day. You have to counter the negative feelings he is experiencing if you really want his forgiveness. One of the most useful methods of doing this is to lash out at your ego.
Remind him that you were tempted by the other man, but ultimately found him in second place to your husband. Tell him why he is the better man.