In some marriages that have been married for an affair, there comes a time when the husband has to choose between the other woman and the wife. The wife generally expects him to do the right thing and choose her. However, this does not always happen. It is often assumed that once the husband chooses the other woman, the marriage ends. But what happens when the husband realizes that he has made a mistake and wants to get his marriage back? It can be an incredibly difficult situation with many variables to consider.
To prove it, a confused wife might say, “I was devastated when my husband announced that he couldn’t give up the other woman. He said that he had developed real and lasting feelings for her and that they were going to try to make their relationship last. So who loaded up her car, said goodbye to the kids while everyone was crying, and went to live with her. I assumed this would be the end of my marriage and tried to pick up the pieces as best I could. nightmare for my kids and me. But what choice did I have? I’ve been taking things day to day. Well, almost three months after she left us, my husband came over to the house and after putting the kids to bed, I He said that he had made a serious mistake. He says that being with the other woman full time made him realize that she is not who he thought she was. He says that their relationship has completely ended. and that now he wants to get his marriage back Well What about what I want? I will tell him He was going to jump into a lake and it was too late for all this. But I see how miserable my children have been without their dad. My parents got divorced and this affected me deeply. I don’t want to do this to my children. But I’m not sure how our marriage can work out because I know that when things were bad, he chose someone else. I’m not sure I can ever get over this. All I keep thinking is that I wasn’t his first choice. So a part of me thinks that saving our marriage is a waste of time for both of us and will make my children needlessly excited. I just don’t know what to do. “
I absolutely understand your confusion, pain, and frustration. I think most people would feel exactly the same. This is a difficult situation. And my inclination in situations like this is not to make quick decisions. You do not have to commit to saving your marriage at this time. You don’t even have to make big decisions right now. You can tell your husband that you are willing to spend more time together in the near future for the sake of your children, but you cannot make any more promises.
Then you can watch their behavior closely and assess your own feelings as you go through the process. I would suggest not to force anything and not rush it. This may take a while to resolve. You may not know how you feel or what you want right away. But you ultimately decide what you want to happen. Just because you’ve changed your mind, this doesn’t dictate your actions. You have a say in your own life.
I know many people will resist counseling, but in a situation as difficult as this, I think it may be helpful and I would suggest individual counseling first before you decide if you want joint counseling, but your therapist will surely know better. as to what is advised.
Finally, I don’t mean to discourage you. Couples can and do reconcile in this setting. It is absolutely possible. At the same time, I don’t think you should feel pressured or rushed. It will likely take a long time to process this and begin to heal before you can even think about what you want to do with your marriage. Sure, you may have changed your mind. But you decide what (if anything) this means to you. And if you decide that you ultimately want to save your marriage, you can do it on your own terms. There is nothing wrong with spending time together for the sake of the children and then seeing where that takes you. But the choice is really yours.