My business class flight with his two year old friend on a four and a half hour trip. After three hours of flight, the boy became restless and noisy. My friend asked the flight attendant if there was a coloring book or other children’s toy on board.
The flight attendant went to check and came back with this response: “Yes, we have gift kits on board for small children.”
“Can I have one please?” asked my friend.
“Sorry”, was the reply, “kid gift kits are only for flights over five hours”.
New title for this stewardess? Customer alienator. She doesn’t know how to improve the customer experience at all!
When my daughter Brighten was eight years old, we were shopping together at an attractive clothing store. The shirts and pants on display were the right size and absolutely the right color for her.
A young saleswoman came up, looked at my daughter and immediately asked: “How old is she?”
I was surprised by his aggressive tone and responded defensively, “Why do you want to know?”
She repeated her question. “How old is she?”
“What difference does it make?” I asked, now disturbed.
“We only have clothes for children up to six years old,” he replied with a snap, ruining any chance to improve the customer experience.
Since when does the age of a client make more sense than the fit of the clothing?
New title for this seller? Business destroyer. It sure ruined any chance to improve the customer experience.
A well-known fast food restaurant offers “Teen Discount Cards” to attract more young customers from 2:30 to 6:00 pm (a slow period between lunch and dinner).
One day, a young customer joined a long, slow line at 5:50 pm, patiently waiting his turn in the hope of using his card to improve the customer experience. But when he got to the counter it was 6:05 pm The supervisor said his discount card was no longer valid.
The young man (and his friend) left and entered the restaurant next door.
New title for this supervisor? Vaporizer value. It made all chances of improving the customer experience disappear along with a sale!
Vineet from India wrote about a coffee shop that gave away free hot drinks when customers filled up their “frequent customer cards” but did not give away free iced coffee drinks to enhance the customer experience. This continued until a new staff member pointed out to the manager that adding ice does not increase costs, but it does increase customer satisfaction and will improve the customer experience.
Someone should put some ice cubes in that manager’s pants to teach him how to improve the customer experience! And when he’s wide awake, teach him this key point: Cutting costs should be the last thing on your mind when you reward your loyal customers—the ones you want to keep coming back. The generosity that goes out equals the profit that comes in and will enhance the customer experience.
New title for this manager? Loyalty loser.
Clancey in Dubai took his son Denis to an ice cream parlor for dessert. When his daughter pulled into the parking lot, the ice cream fell out of her cone—plop! – down. The child began to cry.
Clancey returned to the store and told the clerk what had happened. The clerk took a new cone, stuffed it into a new scoop of ice cream, then turned it upside down and handed it to Clancey. With a stern look and a sterner voice, he said, “Our ice cream doesn’t fall out of the cone.”
Someone should put a scoop of ice cream down that employee’s pants! And when he’s wide awake, teach him this key point: never make your customer feel bad, stupid, or suspicious. Not only will this do nothing to improve the customer experience, but you could lose a customer permanently along with everyone you know of them!
New title for this employee? Enjoyment Eliminator.
Instead, with a smile on your face, say cheerfully, “Here’s a new cone for you. I packed it really tight this time, just to make sure you and your child enjoy every lick. And thanks for coming back. Thank you! see you again soon!”
My friend sent his inkjet printer to the manufacturer for repair. The service center technician sent you an email with the estimated charges and asked you to print, sign, and fax it to approve the service charges before doing the repair.
How was my friend able to print the email when the service center already had their printer?
New title for this technician: Agent of the Absurd. Your lack of common sense did nothing to improve the customer experience!
My neighbor prefers white chicken eggs over brown, but they were hard to find at our local grocery store. After not seeing them for several weeks, she asked the manager why.
He replied, “The egg whites were selling so fast that we had trouble keeping them in stock. So we stopped selling them.”
New title for this manager who doesn’t seem to understand how to improve the customer experience: Marketing Mistake.
Two close friends enjoyed an extraordinary world class cruise. The cruise company worked hard to personalize the vacation for everyone on board to enhance the customer experience. Pre-cruise phone calls identified each traveler’s likes and dislikes, hopes, dreams and concerns regarding the upcoming voyage.
On board the ship, the staff memorized each passenger’s name to enhance the customer experience. Personal preferences are rigorously recorded and used to improve the privacy of the service every day.
On the last morning, a questionnaire was slipped under my friends’ cabin door asking for feedback and suggestions for improvement. The first three questions on the form were:
Your name:
Tucabina:
Date:
An entire cruise dedicated to impeccable, personal service, and a generic, impersonal manner at the end reminds guests that they aren’t really that special after all. Not a great way to improve the customer experience!
New title for the survey specialist: Anonymity Enhancer.
I visited a coffee shop where the staff were apologetic but unwilling to give me a free coffee drink even though my “Frequent Customer Card” was full. (Their “special deal” expired a day early, whereas it took me two weeks to fill up the card for a series of ten paid drinks.)
The front line staff said they would love to give me the drink but were told not to by “management”.
I was so disturbed by the lack of frontline generosity and empowerment that I avoided that brand for months. They didn’t improve the customer experience so I didn’t go back for a long time.
Notes for coffee bean counters:
1. Cost of giving away a free drink = pennies worth of refried beans, paper cup, and hot water.
2. Lost business value from a disgruntled coffee drinker = many dollars.
I shared this experience with many friends (angry customers often do). One told me how pleased he was when “someone with a brain” gave him a free drink to enhance the customer experience even though the promotion had expired. Another said he got a free drink and got a cookie too! Both promised to patronize their outlets over the next few months due to efforts to improve the customer experience.
Notes for coffee bean counters:
1. Cost of giving away a free cookie = less than a dollar.
2. Value of repeat business from happy coffee drinkers = infinity.
3. Positive word of mouth value = you can never buy such a credible and powerful promotion.
If the purpose of a promotion is to encourage repeat business, why have an expiration date? Who cares when customers buy their drinks, as long as they keep buying and drinking and drinking and buying?
New name for these outdated coffee bean counters: Profit Reduction Specialists. They clearly have no idea how to improve the customer experience.
Key learning points
Every business has procedures, policies, products, packaging, prices, places, and promotions. But people hold the ultimate key to improving customer experience, loyalty, and delight.
A smart cookie beats a bureaucratic full house to improve the customer experience. Give your customers positive pleasure, not annoying problems. They will come back and reward you.
action steps
The next time your customer is faced with the stupidity of a policy that doesn’t make sense, or the absurdity of a procedure that just doesn’t work, be the person you can and make a difference to improve the customer experience.
Talk loud! Stand out! Champion your client’s cause. Champion common sense in your business to improve the customer experience. Be the one to stir the pot. Remember, your company’s pot (not the policy manual) fills your bowl every morning.